Category: delicious
Stating the obvious.
My time has finally come!
This is what ended up happening that year: I bought a big box of Sunkist gummy candies to hand out (they’re in little packets, naturally) but made plans for the evening with a friend of mine to watch scary movies. At that point I was using a projector in the basement so there was no way I could hear kids coming or going. I decided to make a sign on cardboard, and hang a bag of the candies (Honor System!) from the latch of my screen door outside. The sign said something to the effect of “please just take one” but honestly I wouldn’t have cared either way.
I don’t think anybody took anything. I didn’t realize until later that you could barely see the bag from the street and with no decorations probably nobody even checked it out. Those that did might’ve been creeped out by the lack of supervision. In any case I was stuck with a pile of gummies for a long time after that.
Addendum: Lori and I tried handing out candies in 2012 and we had like five kids all evening, so it’s also possible my street is just super unpopular. [October 2, 2013]
the truth hurts
My Achievements in Winning Contests
an illustrated guide starring burgers
Yippee, pie! Yay!
Ordinarily the gun would have been taped to my back like in Die Hard, but since there is no surface area to speak of it has to be the back of the head. That’s why that thing is like that. [October 3, 2012]
“Looks like they…got their just desserts.” YYEEEEAAAAAHHHHH
the cupcakes haunt me forever
Okay. The cupcake story. It’s not actually that amazing, so calm down.
The church I grew up in had something called “Care Groups”, where everybody was in little informal Bible study groups that would get together weekly. The kids were of course dragged along and chucked into any nearby basement or rec-room to socialize. Snacks were a fixture at these events. This time we met at the Unraus house, and one of the Unrau girls…I want to say her name was Jody? (Maybe???) All right, well, her name is canonically Jody now.
So the call went out that it was snacktime and Jody went upstairs while most of us stayed behind for a bit. I think the Blue Thunder movie on TV and we wanted to wait for commercials. She came back with a plate full of things, including some cupcakes.
Thinking that she was being a good host, since it was her house and everything, I said “Oh, thanks!” and snatched a cupcake under the assumption that they were for everyone.
False. They were hers alone. She was alarmed and offended that I would just steal from her plate, and I was incredibly embarrassed. I wouldn’t have done it if I’d have known!
I’m so sorry, Jody! If that’s even your name?
If it isn’t I’m sorry I got that wrong too [October 2, 2012]
have a little care. let the bread stand tall.
